sweet nothings

little patients

2009-08-13T10:55:00.007-05:00

so thankful these are well child visits.

brynne can see God

2009-07-19T21:33:00.000-05:00

eve said tonight. it all started with "once upon a time" (eve's favorite thing to do with daddy every night but since he was out, i had to use my not so imaginative imagination) so we were talking about pregnancy and the uterus and pushing babies out and how eve wants to have a baby and how God makes every good thing including babies. and how we can't see God- she thought this meant that He must be in the ground- but can see all the things He made, so she thought that since God put brynne in my "belly"- i swore i would never use this inaccurate terminology so i grit my teeth when it happens- , she must have seen Him when He did it. which started a whole other conversation about brynne not having eyes in the beginning, etc, etc, etc.

butterball brynne

2009-07-10T21:10:00.000-05:00

aww

2009-06-19T21:13:00.000-05:00

update

2009-04-28T12:28:00.007-05:00

is my newborn really 5 1/2 months old? oh, how to sum up these past 5 months... in some ways, i've been very glad; in others, quite sad.

glad: that the nightmare the twins have suffered is- i'm praying- behind them (http://noraandryan.blogspot.com/); that breastfeeding is no longer excruciatingly painful; that brynne sleeps through the night and is a happy healthy butterball; that eve is a startingly super big sister; that don & i are implementing some things to help us navigate this thing called marriage; that the shock of our outrageous tax bill has subsided; that i can (almost) fit into my jeans; that jesus is real (ok, maybe those last two don't really go together or maybe the latter is the reason for the former?)

sad: that there are way too many people suffering around us- way way too many, way way too young; that there are people so desperate to make $ that they will trample on others in the process; that fear still has its ugly grip on me; that my baby girl is approaching 6 months already (i love every minute of babyhood- hmmm, point #2 has apparently slipped my mind); that there's not enough time in the day to do all that i want to: parenting, partnering, part-timing-- referring to work here--, befriending, neighboring, cooking, sunscreening, cleaning -- no wait, that's not something i want to do--, photographing, reading, showering, praying, gardening, couponing (had to throw that in), and oh ya, serving others.

joy

2009-01-15T12:32:00.000-05:00

first bath

2008-12-22T23:01:00.000-05:00

the CD i never tire of

2008-12-19T13:23:00.002-05:00

welcome to the world

2008-11-21T13:44:00.002-05:00

brynne chilimigras bromley

november 11, 2008

2:55pm

9 lbs 1 oz

21 inches

our little ladybug

2008-11-07T16:39:00.000-05:00

getting ready for baby

2008-10-22T14:18:00.001-05:00

and, our bedroom was painted too!

at 31 weeks

2008-10-01T12:51:00.005-05:00

these were taken a few weeks ago. can't believe there are only 5.5 weeks left!

eve's 3rd birthday party

2008-10-01T12:50:00.000-05:00

vacation

2008-09-09T13:06:00.000-05:00

my new niece, Anna

2008-04-29T09:21:00.001-05:00

fun with cousins

2008-01-21T20:39:00.000-05:00

poor baby

2008-01-03T13:30:00.001-05:00

woke up to eve crying at 3am this morning. rare event, so i stumbled across the hall. she said she needed a kleenex. why? because someone (that may have been me) forgot to put a diaper on her so she was wet down to her socks (or rather, crib mattress). poor baby.

you will be missed

2007-12-15T19:40:00.000-05:00

tracey boone, my friend
http://www.annarborvineyard.org/traceyboone.cfm

special song

2007-12-12T17:27:00.000-05:00

I will offer up my life
In spirit and truth,
Pouring out the oil of love
As my worship to you
In surrender I must give my every part;
Lord, receive the sacrifice
Of a broken heart

CHORUS:
Jesus, what can I give, what can I bring
To so faithful a friend, to so loving a king?
Savior, what can be said, what can be sung
As a praise of your name
For the things you have done?
Oh my words could not tell, not even in part
Of the debt of love that is owed
By this thankful heart

You deserve my every breath
For you've paid the great cost;
Giving up your life to death,
Even death on a cross
You took all my shame away,
There defeated my sin
Opened up the gates of heaven
And have beckoned me in

I Will Offer Up My Life by Matt Redman

happy thanksgiving

2007-11-28T16:03:00.000-05:00

fall festival fun

2007-11-04T13:12:00.000-05:00

guys' girl

2007-10-31T09:31:00.000-05:00

prayer for the week

2007-09-25T14:11:00.000-05:00

Grant that I, Lord, may not be anxious about earthly things, but love things heavenly; and even now, while I am placed among things that are passing away, hold fast to those that shall endure; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.†

Divine Hours: http://www.annarborvineyard.org/tdh/tdh.cfm

pool time

2007-09-18T11:43:00.001-05:00

daddy & eve

2007-08-31T21:04:00.000-05:00

good to be home

2007-08-26T14:27:00.000-05:00

the best part of vacation? realizing how much you appreciate home. we love being closer to family, our dear friends, our special church and in our house that we have worked so hard on and created so many memories in. the ocean is a close 2nd, though.

velvet elvis

2007-08-08T14:27:00.000-05:00

"We reclaim the church as a blessing machine not only because that is what Jesus intended from the beginning but also because serving people is the only way their perceptions of church are ever going to change. This is why it is so toxic for the gospel when Christians picket and boycott and complain about how bad the world is... Why blame the dark for being dark? It is far more helpful to ask why the light isn't as bright as it could be."

Rob Bell, author of Velvet Elvis

pigtails

2007-08-05T14:21:00.000-05:00

hard to say goodbye

2007-07-28T18:10:00.000-05:00

what a great time we all had with dad bromley. perhaps there's a way to make michigan weather as good as san diego's?

fun with papa

2007-07-16T11:36:00.000-05:00

seeing blue

2007-07-14T13:38:00.000-05:00

full house on 4th of july

2007-07-09T09:54:00.000-05:00

good movie

2007-07-05T13:10:00.001-05:00

this time last year

2007-06-29T18:37:00.000-05:00

quote

2007-06-22T10:21:00.000-05:00

"... it feels to me that, if your spiritual practices are causing you anxiety because you get panicked trying to carve time out everyday for them, then they have ceased being of much use. I think of my spiritual practice now the same way I think of my writing practice; it's something I do steadfastly, but not with rigid discipline, because that kills the spark."

elizabeth gilbert, author of "eat, pray, love"

recent breakfast conversation (monologue)

2007-06-19T18:56:00.000-05:00

don: "eve, we've started a college fund for you... you're going to go to U of M and you're going to live with daddy until you're 50. then, you can move out. ok, eve?"

eve: smiling, "k"

i see you

2007-06-16T19:15:00.000-05:00

eve is starting to speak in sentences. she likes to peek around the corner and say "i SEE yooooouuuuuuu!" so fun.

best father

2007-06-07T09:04:00.000-05:00

how did we get so lucky to have the best father around living in our house? when i was pregnant, he wrote the most amazing poem for our daughter in anticipation of her arrival (below). when she arrived, he spent countless hours in the NICU holding her tiny hand, feeding her, and praying for her health. when he returned to me, tear-stained cheeks were the only evidence of his despair. he tirelessly helped me in & out of bed, pushing me around in a wheelchair to see my child. he held me as i cried "my poor baby" about a hundred times. since that time, the love between eve and her dad is palpable. people who encounter it can't help but comment on it. and all i can do is smile and nod my head- yup, it's true. yesterday, she climbed up on him as she always does, using him as her personal jungle gym, but this time she embraced him, laying her head on his chest for several moments then slowly turned toward him with a gentle but heartfelt kiss. she too knows that we have something very special, and his name is Don Bromley.

a poem for my little girl (soon to come) [by Don Bromley]

a little girl,
yet descended,
a new soul
newly founded.

eyes closed
to my world,
still she dreams,
thoughts impearled.

what dreams
can yet unlived
life design,
or hope uplift?

and how can i,
being passing by,
hold her gaze,
sight's first supply?

the giver's choice,
can i demur?
no, i can but take
and to god offer.

new nephew

2007-06-03T20:59:00.000-05:00

happy birthday to Daniel John!

sunday in the ER

2007-06-01T13:19:00.000-05:00

our first trip to the ER with eve happened on sunday. we were supposed to be heading to kalamazoo for a much anticipated visit with my family for memorial day. instead, the nurse on call instructed us to go to the ER to investigate the cause of eve's unexplained fever. in the waiting room, my familiar "friend" fear paid me a visit. eve was so hot to the touch and all this anxiety & panic descended on me as i imagined worst case scenarios. not too long ago, i read an article about a family whose toddler came down with a high fever one afternoon and died within 24 hours. usually i'm able to filter & forget unnecessary fear-inducing stories, but regrettably, this one stuck. she turned out to be ok (contracted a contagious virus), but the experience there reminded me of all the time in the past i spent living in some state of fear- from the trivial to existential: fear of making a mistake, saying the wrong thing, flying- or rather crashing, my loved ones dying. and it dawned on me that i haven't felt that kind of fear in a long long time. and it's a testament to what God has quietly done in me- way down deep in my core without me even realizing it. so what began as a spiral of fear has become an ardent prayer of thanks.

first trip to the zoo

2007-05-30T09:56:00.000-05:00

eve sure loves her aunt jaimie & taylor (and her polar bear gift)!

making cookies

2007-05-10T20:26:00.000-05:00

a favorite

2007-05-10T20:15:00.000-05:00

i love corn

2007-05-10T20:09:00.000-05:00

long overdue visit with my lovely sister!

2007-05-10T20:06:00.000-05:00

small group babies

2007-05-10T20:02:00.000-05:00

amazing bubbles

2007-05-10T20:00:00.000-05:00

great friends

2007-05-10T19:55:00.000-05:00

eve loves jack

2007-05-10T19:51:00.000-05:00

swinging in april

2007-05-10T19:49:00.000-05:00

eve & her papa

2007-03-14T18:54:00.000-05:00

february 8

2007-02-08T10:20:00.000-05:00

eve took 18 little steps all by herself a couple days ago! she likes to try it when no one's looking (or when she thinks no one's looking). i wonder if she's perfectionist-leaning. looks like she'll be walking by the time she's 18 months old. whew! i can't say i was really worried but sometimes it's hard not to take your child's progress personally. i'm sure (i hope) after the 2nd or 3rd child, it won't even cross my mind. this morning, i reminded eve that aunt jaimie was coming. right away, she quickly made her way to the door and waited for her excitedly. it's so endearing to see her connect with my friends. i'm glad we're not the only influences in her life. we are so blessed to have such wonderful people that love her in our lives.

january 26

2007-01-26T10:53:00.000-05:00

finally, at 17 months, eve is getting close to walking. she loves to take my hand so that she can practice walking around the house. she gets so proud of herself when she lets go and stands unassisted. it's the cutest thing. we also can't resist her "up please" requests to join us on the sofa. i just never anticipated the joy of motherhood. it's such an unexpected gift. when i thought long and hard about having a baby, the things that came to mind were sleepless nights, whiny neediness, a mess of toys, annoying childrens music and of course, the requisite saggy breasts & belly (i know, not very selfless thinking). and now, God has blessed us with this living, walking, talking bundle of baby called eve.

november 17

2006-11-17T10:21:00.000-05:00

eve is 15 months old today. last night, we watched some video footage of eve's first few months and the whole family got depressed. eve saw daddy holding & kissing the little baby and looked at us with her lower lip sticking out and quivering. and when "the baby" started to cry, she started to cry. and, don & i were dumbfounded at how much growth and change has occurred in just one year. we miss our tiny baby, but are so glad that she's still little. she jumps up and down in her crib now, waves, nods yes, says "hi, what's that?, mama, dada, all done, and bye bye", gives kisses and squeals with delight when daddy chases her while she crawls around the ottoman. she's getting so good at obeying us. she knows not to go near the fireplace or touch the mirror (that we haven't secured yet). she loves to crawl all the way to the mirror and then she sits back on her bottom and claps for herself for not touching it. then she'll talk & gesture while looking at herself. she's such a delight. we are so blessed. now, if don & i could only figure out how to get reacquainted with each other!

october 17

2006-10-17T08:33:00.000-05:00

eve is finally crawling around pretty well at 14 months old- she prefers the army crawl right now. definitely getting into more things, so it's time to get poisonous plants off the floor. tonnie's baby may have entered the world this morning. 17 days after her due date! poor thing had to be induced last night- not fun. i don't think i've known anyone personally who has gone that long. no worries if you're reading, amy!!! next up is jack's debut and we're very much looking forward to meeting him! i think the lozen family will be one of the cutest ever to watch in action.

special day

2006-08-17T10:04:00.000-05:00

eve's 1st birthday today. find myself thinking about her first days in the hospital. especially now that i'm working here on the same floor, adjacent to labor & delivery. spent some time this morning reviewing her medical records, her every-6 hour-bilirubin updates. it's hard to describe how heart-wrenching it is to see your tiny fragile newborn (who you're just meeting for the first time) hooked up to IVs, naked, bruised, eyes covered with a mask. and, worst of all, all by herself in an incubator with no mother to hold & feed her. i remember it being so hard for me to see her like that that i kept asking don for constant updates instead. nothing prepared me for that. before she was born, i would watch all the high risk maternity shows with distant interest. i was emotionally removed, objective, protected. and, now my heart goes out to my brother & sister-in-law and my prayers to my new little niece, born at 28 weeks, who is in her own fight to survive.

july 28

2006-07-28T08:32:00.000-05:00

i am sinful. the tragic thing is that it usually doesn't occur to me. in fact, it rarely has most of my life. i mean, i've always been the "good girl"- proudly never experimented with sex, drugs, alcohol. got straight As, revered God, loved my family. i never understood why my mom got tearful during mass or why i needed to ask for the same forgiveness that God granted to "other people". and confession? it took me a long time before i came up with something like "i was mean to my brother today". and now i find myself coming face to face with my own human depravity, fragility, sinfulness. and, it's the best medicine in the world.

june 23

2006-06-23T10:16:00.000-05:00

well, things DO get easier. less agonizing emotionally. confidence as a parent builds, and she seems to understand more about what is going on around her. and, you realize that you aren't the only person who can provide good care. that it doesn't all depend on you. that you don't need to "rescue" her every time she cries. that she will be ok. even better than ok when i'm not there 24/7.

may 3

2006-05-03T08:23:00.000-05:00

has it been a month since my last post? sorry amy! life is very sweet. i love love love my baby. she is getting more & more fun. plays peekaboo, scrunches up her face while smiling, and shakes her little head back & forth when i sing to her. like i shared with my small group last night, i think i am really enjoying life for the first time. i've spent most of my life yearning for connectedness, close friendships, a happy home life. in grade school, looked forward to the fun of high school (what was i thinking?). in high school had high hopes for college (huge disappointment). weren't those supposed to be the golden years you would look back on fondly? over the years, have had lots of ppl pray for me & heard lots of assurances that life would change for me. and, after many tears, much angst, bouts of depression and loneliness, i finally see God's faithful hand. thank you for my family, my dear friends, my husband, my daughter.

april 4

2006-04-04T08:41:00.000-05:00

how wonderful it is to be at home on a tuesday. laundry going, baby napping, music playing, sun shining in... phone ringing... good news- person coming in 20 minutes to fix our broken refrigerator. am so grateful that i can work part-time. it seemed like i never got anything done at home when i worked full time. our lives revolved around work & scheduled responsibilities. now i have the opportunity to slow down, appreciate all that God has put here on earth. it's like i'm really living for the first time.

march 24

2006-03-24T15:39:00.000-05:00

happy birthday amy!!! what a special day. thinking about you... so happy to know you. and, eve sends her love & baby kisses.

march 10

2006-03-10T09:08:00.000-05:00

my little baby is getting teeth! 2 little ones on the botton are poking through. she's becoming quite the enthusiastic baby... everytime i "stand her up" in the morning, she looks around excitedly with her tongue out & pants in a funny way, sometimes squealing with delight. it's very cute & and very infectious. and, she adores ppl who love her & give her attention. what a gift she is.

february 16

2006-02-16T10:03:00.000-05:00

this year i decided to give don an idea of what i'd like for valentine's day. and, he exceeded my expectations! i mentioned that i'd love a spa treatment so he scheduled me for a facial massage & came home to care for eve so i could go! and, i always love it when he cooks... so, he made a wonderful chicken with tarragon dinner. it was so good- the best chicken breast meal i've ever had. he also got me a lovely orchid & rose petals for a bath. i am a lucky girl.

february 9

2006-02-09T14:52:00.000-05:00

i've discovered that i'm not very good at supervising. when i witness troubling behavior, my anxiety level starts to rise. partly because i feel responsible for poor performance and partly because i worry about how to address the behavior. although i know it's important to communicate my concerns before they start to multiply, i worry a lot about hurting people's feelings, coming across in an accusatory manner. but, today i think it went ok. i was able to spell out my expectations explicitly, gently.. i hope.

february 2

2006-02-02T09:56:00.000-05:00

i've really loved the mild winter so far. will make it much more bearable to delay our vacation to florida until summer. and, Eve will be crawling by then so she'll probably enjoy the trip much more. it's amazing how inward focused you become after having a child. i suppose that's good (partly) and the way God designed it so that we can care for our children. however, i believe it's equally important to continue to be outward focused and care for those around us and not just our immediate families. it's a discipline, though, since you don't have nearly as much time. but, there's got to be a way to reconcile the two--seemingly opposing-- postures.

january 24

2006-01-24T15:06:00.000-05:00

saw memoirs of a geisha on sunday. it's amazing how much more you enjoy a movie after reading the book. i should try that more often! not sure if i would have liked it if i hadn't read the book...hard to say. and, normally i don't like watching movies by myself but i really enjoyed it on sunday. perhaps because i was so into the story and could focus on it without any distractions. and, without worrying about don being bored. although, i have to say, he is much better than i am at getting into/enjoying something he has no interest in seeing.

january 19

2006-01-19T10:18:00.000-05:00

started a new small group for couples this week. so fun to be part of a group that i would like to attend even if we weren't hosting! it's a pretty laid back format. read from divine hours & eat dinner together from 6-7. respond to a discussion question & share how we're doing over dessert & coffee from 7-8. then have focused prayer for one couple at the end. no extensive prep work/reading, no homework, no pressure. so neat to see ppl, who didn't know each another before, forming real relationships, connection.

january 5

2006-01-05T14:03:00.000-05:00

it was a little sad to say goodbye to 2005. such a great year for us. i wish i wasn't so sentimental. it sure would make things easier. eve is only 4.5 months old and i find myself already reminiscing about her newborn days: her tiny 0-3 month outfits & socks, her sleepiness during feedings, the way i had to support her head while burping her. for most people, i'm sure this would be a happy recollection. but, i can't help feeling wistful. how does one stop time?

december 21

2005-12-21T12:26:00.000-05:00

new job. huge blessing. lots of stress. i guess i don't know how to work part-time. i'm the kind of person who likes to work on something until it's done. otherwise, it hangs over me and creates stress. but, this means that i am basically working all the time because there's always more to do. with a full-time job, you usually have natural boundaries, like the weekend. now, my home life & work life are intertwined, and i find myself waking up at 1 in the morning thinking about something i forgot to do. not fun. but need to remember, new job... huge blessing. thanks God.

december 8

2005-12-08T11:57:00.000-05:00

will i ever feel normal again? or, does being a parent mean that one's heart resides outside the body? it's a little eery. whenever i am away from my baby eve, i feel as if a piece of me is missing. and, it's not restored until i am in her presence again. will this always be the case or is it something i will grow out of? if this is my new normal, it's a little painful, and will need God's grace as i continually acknowledge that ultimately, she belongs to Him.

2005-12-02T16:12:00.000-05:00

You Are Mashed Potatoes

Oridnary, comforting, and more than a little predictableYou're the glue that holds everyone together.

What Part of Thanksgiving Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com/whatpartofthanksgivingareyouquiz/

december 2

2005-12-02T15:44:00.000-05:00

don & i get to go on a real date tonight AND next friday. thanks to our good friends tonnie & peter and amy & phil!!! we haven't been out since the baby was born (except for dinner on our 6-year anniversary). i'm so excited! we'll probably go to macaroni grill and then to a re-make of my favorite movie, pride & prejudice. hopefully i can stay awake for a "late" movie since my usual bedtime is 9. and hopefully we can avoid talking about stressful things like how much we have to do, controversial issues, etc. seems like those things creep in on special occasions. anyway, how grateful i am for such loving friends.

december 1

2005-12-01T15:18:00.000-05:00

hard to believe it's already december! eve was just a tiny little peanut this time last year. amazing what can happen in a year. love this holiday season. thanksgiving was so special with family. each year i count my blessings that everyone is healthy, living. you never know how long you're here on earth- i try to savor every holiday, cement the images on my mind & heart. God has just overwhelmed us with blessings, i have to find ways to "give it away" before i burst.

november 17

2005-11-17T13:41:00.000-05:00

the crockpot meal sort of passed the taste test, but the appetizing-looking test it did not. the bulgar turned into a mushy brown mess. probably won't be repeating that one! in the office today... a little stressful now that i only have 2 days to get everything done. why am i blogging you may ask? well, let's just say i need a mental health break. the twice-a-day pumping is going ok, but i have to concentrate on lowering my stress level in order for it to be successful. i sure miss my baby! have an informal interview tomorrow morning- it would be great if i can segue into the new position in january.

november 16

2005-11-16T11:05:00.000-05:00

today is my first attempt at crockpot cooking. turkey breast with bulgar and feta cheese. chose it partly because it's healthy, partly b/c it's easy- no prep cooking for the meat required. i do NOT like handling meat, so a recipe that minimizes meat contact is the one for me. hopefully it passes the taste test. so many recipes out there end up tasting bland and result in encouraging me to give up cooking altogether. but, i so much like the idea of having home-cooked meals that i am committed to staying the course. plus, it's a matter of necessity. we cannot go out to eat like we did pre-baby, pre-income cutting in half. but, i think of this as a good thing (oh no...am i becoming martha stewart?). we are so ready for the domestic life. our life has changed dramatically- up at 6am, breakfast, lunch & dinner at home, in bed by 8 or 9. who knew i wouldn't mind washing dishes, changing diapers, and breastfeeding every 3 hours?

november 15

2005-11-15T10:44:00.000-05:00

wow! a lot has happened since january. my sweet baby girl (Eve) was born and i dropped out of the world for 12 weeks on leave. and, by complete surprise, enjoyed every minute of it! caught up with a lot of friends, adjusted to breastfeeding and transitioned to regular sleep! haven't been very good at this blogging thing but i'll give it another try. the problem with blogging (for me anyway) is that it goes against my nature; i am a pretty private person, an introvert, and a perfectionist. So, i have to overcome several obstacles even in writing about mundane things. i have to get past: who is reading this?, who cares?, and did i articulate what i wanted to say just right? but, i decided i just have to get over myself and write whatever comes to mind. at least, that's what my husband is interested in, so this is for him!

january 26

2005-01-26T10:56:00.000-05:00

well, looks like i'm averaging every other month... not doing too well keeping up with this blogging! i'm 11 weeks pregnant now... hard to believe! i've been feeling lethargic and emotionally sensitive. my stomach has been unsettled, and i finally threw up a couple days ago. now, i have this horrible looking "subconjunctival hemorrhage" caused by the straining- half of my left eye is bloody, inspiring lots of much desired sympathy from my husband : )

a handful of friends know about the pregnancy, which makes it a little easire to endure. it will be nice, though, when everyone knows, so that i have an answer to "what's new?". it will also be nice (i think) when i start showing more, so that there's some evident justification for my malaise.

november 11

2004-11-11T11:10:00.000-05:00

hey you! i'm back. missing your presence now that you're in england. but, excited for this experience with your dad. i wish i could have seen him on tuesday- i really miss him! glad to hear that your phd advisor will challenge you. sounds like he had some great advice. i think you'll really enjoy the dissertation process as long as you don't get behind. i'm so proud of you.

well, i'm keeping myself busy. nancy called to check on me, which was nice. and, i'm having dinner with jaimie tonight. and, tonnie on saturday and wednesday... and maybe others next week thursday. i'm already looking forward to your return though. movies, dinner, and thanksgiving soon! i love you.

september 15

2004-09-15T14:26:00.000-05:00

i'm back! things are looking up... husband is done with thesis, and we are done with the home tour. but, not sure if we've been lazy enough yet? we'll have to work on that. had fun playing with CW last night. we spent a lot of time shooting monsters and some more pretending to be frozen and later, melting. he wanted to stay up til mom got home, which meant 9:20- so, it was a late night for him! looking forward to little people in our own home. i wonder when we'll conceive.. each month, you have only a 20-25% chance of success- doesn't seem very high for all the unplanned pregnancies out there!

also looking forward to having guests over on Sunday.. it's been awhile though and it will be tricky to come up with a SBD-friendly menu. any ideas?

july 29

2004-07-29T14:23:00.000-05:00

i don't think most people would believe just how boring my days are. i check my watch maybe 20 times and calculate the exact percentage of the day i have completed; and therefore, determine how much is left. i try to cheer myself up by remembering what a blessing my job has been, but sometimes this only goes so far. of course, a job change at this point isn't really an option- i mean, i'd rather endure a year or so more of boredom in this job than begin looking elsewhere. oh well.. it's especially hard though when there are so many things that need to be done at home. but, it could be a lot worse, right?

anyway, been thinking a lot lately about becoming a parent. i think i'm finally at the point in my life where pregnancy, childbirth, childrearing all make sense. and, for the first time, it's not such an overwhelming idea. thank goodness! now, it's just a matter of time... i've worried a little that my desire (small as it may be) to plunge into parenthood is a reaction to or a symptom of my lack of happiness at work. but then i remember i haven't been happy at my job for 4.5 years, and i've never before warmed up to the idea of having children. so, it seems legitimate.

today

2004-07-23T15:56:00.000-05:00

just opened a blog today at the prodding of my dear husband. apparently, he wants to know what i'm thinking each day which, i must say, is a good sign!

so, here's to you sawtooth!